Pray
by BTRCutie
Summary: Of all the horrible things James had witnessed, nothing was quite worse than seeing HIS Logan fall apart before his very own eyes and because of a stupid illness too. Angst and fluff alert, proceed with caution. For FootballandBTR.


**A/N: This was written for FootballandBTR. I pray he gets better. : ) Cancer is horrible and if we all pray for him I think he will be able to make it. **

**Angst and fluff alert. Just so you know. ; )**

**I don't own anything. : (**

Pray~

James flinches as Logan's loose grasp loosens entirely, his sweaty clammy hand falling to his side, lifelessly.

He gently picks up Logan's hand and places it on his lap. He then leans forward to plant a soft kiss on the side of the small boy's forehead. He then fingers through Logan's thinning hair and he can feel tears forcing their way out but he refuses to cry, Logan _needs_ him. He _needs _strong James, not a weak James.

Logan's eyes flutter open, his lifeless eyes showing no emotion. He stares blankly at James before he gently reaches for James' hand.

"Hey, baby." James whispers as he brushes the loose hair off Logan's forehead.

"J-J-James." Logan's weak voice mumbles out but is hurriedly shushed once James tells him not to talk not wanting him to waist his energy on useless talking.

He then leans forward and kisses a quick gentle kiss to Logan's lips.

Once they pull apart, James can see the tears gathering around the corners of Logan's eyes. He can feel how the boy's weak pale hands are trembling in his grasp.

He can see how tired Logan is. He can see what a tole this illness has taken on Logan.

Before Logan can fall asleep again, James whispers softy in his ear, "I love you, Logan. Now go to sleep babe. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

He can see how Logan is painfully deteriorating before his very own eyes. The once lively bright optimistic young teen was now a pale weak invalid leaning against James' chest for support. It kills James to see the boy he loves like himself falling apart before his very own eyes. It kills him to think that he _may_ have to wake up to an empty bed every morning or go to bed without a good night kiss. Or that he may have to eat dinner alone every evening or not being able to wake up to that bright smile he loves so much.

xxx

It's been 2 mouths. Two agony filled mouths. Two months ago Logan had been diagnosed with cancer. It was the day before his 17th birthday when he was diagnosed.

James remembers that day, to clearly. He remembers holding Logan's hand the entire day after they both had been told the heart wrenching news. He remembers seeing Logan face turn a white pale upon hearing the news. He remembers how his heart stopped beating the moment the painful words finally registered into his mind. He remembers slowly rocking Logan to sleep. He remembers singing lullabies in attempt to soothe him.

He remembers it like it was yesterday.

2 mouths passed since that day, now Logan is clinging onto his last few days. And James hasn't left his side once.

He remembers the day when Logan stepped onto the scale for the first time since he had been diagnosed. He remembers Logan's shocked face after he saw that he had lost approximately 30 pounds in less than 2 weeks. He knew Logan had lost some weight but he wasn't sure of how much, and he had no idea it was that much. He remembers Logan falling slowly into his arms and for the first time he actually could feel the thin ribs poking against his strong chest. He didn't know how he didn't notice sooner, considering he held Logan all the time.

He remembers the first time he noticed Logan's thinning hair, he remembers how he was once combing the boy's hair and how a handful of hair remained in his hand once he had finished. He remembers how he almost choked on his own saliva after experiencing the strands of the dark brunette hair he so much loved, in his hand. He remembers how tears slipped out of the corners of Logan's eyes upon the incident. He remembers how Logan immediately broke down into tears; he remembers how he instantly embraced the small weak boy. They passed the night in each other's arms, both praying. But James kept in mind that no matter how hair Logan could lose he would always be beautiful. He could never doubt his beauty.

He remembers the first time he noticed Logan's once beautiful chocolate curious eyes and how they were now lifeless and emotionless. But James remembers thinking they were still the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen in his entire life time. He still does.

He remembers how Logan would mostly sleep every day. He couldn't do much so one day James came home and wrapped his strong arms around the weak boy's waist and started to sing to him. He remembers the exact song he sang him; it was 'Pray' by Justin Bieber. He remembers how the lyrics touched him. They still do but to an extent. He still has faith that Logan will make it but he can't help but think the worst outcome. It was eating him so that he could barely think properly. Heck, he couldn't even leave Logan without worrying to death. He couldn't even sleep anymore, afraid that if he did let sleep take him he would wake up to a motionless Logan. And that terrified him to the point where he could easily break into tears.

He misses the old Logan, the one who was enthusiastic and energetic, the Logan who had always had a bright smile painted on his face, the boy who took such an interest in his studies. The boy with whom James had the best conversations and the funniest jokes with was completely gone but not completely.

Things hadn't gotten better. They have gotten worse.

Logan was in the hospital holding onto his last few days of life. And here James was thinking off the past before and after his illness. Praying to God, the he would let this poor young boy continue with his so precious irreplaceable life. All he could do was pray. And that was exactly what he did.

Xxxxx

A week has passed, and Logan still had his life and James couldn't help but be joyous.

Logan has been awake for an hour now; James forcing him to eat much to Logan's dismay.

"Come on, hun. You need to eat something." James says with authority clear in his tone.

Logan quickly pushes away the tray of food, "I'll eat in a while, James." He reasons and James accepts it not having the heart to even put Logan in discomfort. He trusts him to keep his word.

James sets the tray on the side table next to the hospital bed, and quickly puts his eyes on his boyfriend.

Logan scoots over making room for him, and James gladly complies, not hesitant to snuggle closer too Logan.

Logan smiles weakly up at him, and James leans down to place a quick passionate kiss onto his cold trembling lips. Logan can't contribute much to the kiss, due to weakness, but James isn't about to complain.

Thirty minutes later, a doctor walks in, his expression serious and grave. Tucked in the crock of his arm is a clipboard which has millions of papers attached to it.

"Mr. Mitchell, Mr. Diamond." He says as he reaches forward to shake James' hand.

"I have some rather interesting news for you both." He looks down at his clipboard. "We did some tests and it seems that Logan's cancer is gone. The treatment seemed to work." His nimble fingers gently take off his glasses.

Logan's eyes widen and he clutches James' hand tighter.

James has much the same reactions, and he wants to smile and ask a million questions but he can't even do that. A smile twitches at the corner of his lips, ready to release a huge smile. Instead he squeezes Logan's cold hand.

"A-a-are you being serious?" He stutters out, his voice barely above a whisper. Out of the corner of his eyes he can see Logan nodding his head vigorously in anticipation.

"Yes. I'll another doctor come in and explain more later on. But Logan still can't leave for a couple of days, alright?"

James merely nods, brunette strands of hair falling before his eyes blocking his vision partially. He grasps Logan's hand.

The doctor leaves hastily.

"Baby." James murmurs as he smashes his lips with Logan's. "I am so proud of you." He nuzzles Logan's nose.

And for the first time that day, James can actually see the rosiness appearing in Logan's cheeks again. He can see the brightness in his eyes once more. He can see the hope in their future once more.

Logan smiles weakly. "I can't believe it, James. I am not gonna die anymore."

"I know." James sighs contentedly as he pulls _his _Logan closer, burying his head into the top of Logan's soft patch of hair. He takes in his scent not ever wanting to go through days not smelling it.

"I knew you were gonna make it. And now, we will be together forever. Just you and me." James murmurs in Logan's ear. He then moves his hand off the shorter boy's waist and places it on his warm cheek. He strokes it gently before placing a quick kiss on his lips once more. "I always had faith in you."

"Yes. But you are what kept me going, James."

James merely smiles to joyous to even speak; he just brushes his fingers in Logan's hair. A content smile upon his features.

"I can't wait to become normal looking again." Logan sighs.

"Hey, no matter how much damage that damn cancer did you too, you still were beautiful." James says.

"No need to lie, James, babe." Logan smiles as he lightly smacks James' forearm, playfully.

"I'm not lying, even though I love you best when you are healthy and strong I can't help but think you were still and still are beautiful."

Logan attempts to speak but is cut off but a gentle kiss to his lips.

Whispering softly he speaks to Logan, "Close your eyes now, and get some rest, Logan. I love you Baby."

Just as Logan closes his eyes, he whispers back, "Love you too, James."

Then before they know it, they are both dozing off to sleep. But the content smiles never leave them.

Everything was going to be alright. They had each other.

Prayers are what kept them believing and now they would never have to experience life _or_ heaven without each other. Because they were sure they were going to live _and_ die together. Because they were made for each other and nothing was going to separate them, ever.

**A/N: Should I be hiding? This was obviously crappy. Duh. And I absolutely no nothing about Cancer and I did this in haste so there may be inaccurate info and such but I didn't have time to do much research. Hope you understand. **

**But umm…after reading what happened to FootballandBTR, I knew I had to do this. I feel so badly for him, and I HOPE he makes it and is able to continue with his precious life. I am praying for him and hope all of you will too. **

**Please. Thank you! **

**Oh and listen to Pray by Justin Bieber. BEAUTIFUL SONG!**

**Well, I am not gonna beg for reviews but, you know, if you wanna leave a review, I can guarantee you I will be smiling like a fool the minute I receive it. Haha. **

**Thanks for reading and don't forget to pray for FootballandBTR. **

**Thanks! LOVE you all! 333333 **


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